1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
So much rum. So many feels.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
