just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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