I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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