Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
try to milk me bitch
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
