I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
someone threw a dead crab at me
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
