White coat. Heels.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
