He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
