so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
