i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
