You're completely useless in the revolution.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
