mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
