You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
