Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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