We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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