We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
