eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
