the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
