rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
