My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
