Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
