Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
