therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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