Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
