You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
