Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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