do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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