so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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