you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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