I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
