Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
