Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
