would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
