I'm really into asian looking animals
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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