Just cropdusted the office
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
