i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
