Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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