ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
