I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
