he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
