do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
There r osticjed everywhere
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
