I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
