Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
