I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
