Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
