how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
