Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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