A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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