i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
