I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
