Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
