if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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