I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
